Unfolding Source

Peace at last

2011-12-23T22:31:00.000-08:00

I noticed this morning how quiet it is. Normally I can hear trams and cars but this morning---nothing. There is a depth of silence in the countryside that is usually missing in the city. So it is actually quite unusual to experience complete silence and it is only in major festivals that I have ever experienced a 'quality' of stillness in the city. Somehow, when everyone is 'somewhere else'- Christmas Eve in some countries and Christmas Day in others- that places become very still. I find this stillness very peaceful. In this place, I am able to connect with the spirit in and of Christmas and indeed, in the heart of all major religions. In this place I am peace and acting from this place, all my actions are carriers of peace.

Going backwards

2011-11-27T12:09:00.001-08:00

For so long I have held the believe that it's not possible to 'go backwards'. Lately, I have been thinking that this idea is not entirely 'true'. Whilst I do believe that we all move on, I am starting to think that it is possible to 'go back'. The reason why I say this is because I think when I 'move forward' in life, it is possible to reflect and take stock of what really matters to me and what it is that gives me joy, happiness and a sense of well-being. I believe the choice to return to that place is possible. I think it is because what really matters to me is the environment in which I feel 'at home' and 'at peace'. It's been very obvious to me for a long time now that my 'place' is in the open expanse of the countryside, being in nature. It is the only place where I have ever felt peaceful and fully accepted. A place where everything falls into place and where my life has a balanced perspective. The year I spent in the countryside was a period of my life where I was most unsettled and the most settled at the same time. At my most desparate, the countryside provided me with an unconditional holding, acceptance and healing in a way I never could have imagined. It was also a place where I came to many realisations about the nature of nature. It is a place where I intend to return- to quote John Scherer, a place where I will be 'coming home to myself'.

16899

2011-11-10T12:26:00.000-08:00

So here it is, 16,899 +/- 1 day due to time zone differences. The number of days I've been alive on this earth. 16,899 sunrises and 16,899 sunsets. The question is, how many of those have I truly enjoyed? How many of those have I been fully present?

Lately, I've felt really disconnected and uninspired. I have come to realise the importance of place, space and time to me. In the last few years, I have grown to appreciate how nutured I feel when I am in nature. Living away from the UK, I desparately miss the woodlands and open countryside. At this time of the year when the air is sharp and the trees are resplendent in their reds, oranges and gold- there is nothing quite like being in the countryside- being one with nature. The most alive I've felt were some of the days in a little cottage in the depths of the West Berkshire countryside in the UK- surrounded by open fields and a depth of silence that connected me with my soul.

In this new place which I have yet to call 'home', I have not been able to take photos, write or paint. I wonder what it will take for me to return to reconnect with my sources of inspiration.

My favourite poem by Wagoner:

Lost

Stand still.

The trees ahead and bushes beside you are not lost.

Wherever you are is called Here,

And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,

Must ask permission to know it and be known.

The forest breathes. Listen.

It answers,I have made this place around you,

If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.

No two trees are the same to Raven.

No two branches are the same to Wren.

If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,You are surely lost.

Stand still.

The forest knows where you are.

You must let it find you.

A graceful moment

2011-10-03T01:49:00.000-07:00

This was written by Leena Godiwala-Deubet from Mumbai in a session in Singapore called 'Not Knowing- The Secret to Creative Facilitation'.

Not-Knowing

Creativity to me is poetry
Which flows only when I let go
And trust the process of flow

Letting go is difficult
Of structures and content
Of facilitators and intent

(No facilitation or direction!! Just silence and reaction!!)

Over four decades of conforming
To others' standards and norming
Has stifled me of my creativity
Blocked me of my propriety

Anxiety embraces me
When I'm in the not-know
I wish I could just let go
And flow.

Shared History

2011-08-24T05:25:00.000-07:00

Since my mother died three years ago my family as it was known to me was blown apart. What that did was to accentuate a sense of aloneness in the world. I do not have any siblings nor do I have any children so I don’t feel I belong to any family unit as such. When I spoke with John about this, it brought home to me the critical difference between a family that I feel is ‘mine’ and a family that I feel is ‘other’. This difference is shared history. When I look at John’s family, I can see that he has had a great deal of shared routines and rituals with his children and wives. I think the birth and presence of children contribute significantly to a couple’s shared history and the development of shared routines and rituals. Though I have heard in many instances the phrase ‘…it’s for the children…’ in a sense, it’s also for the entire family unit. These shared day to day activities and patterns become the fabric of that family unit’s shared historical map- points of reference that bind the unit together and that also marks out the unique topography of one family as compared to another. From age 13 onwards, I have slipped in and out of other people’s family units- mainly through invitations at boarding school to spend exeats, half-term and holidays with friends and their families. They were kind and generous people who took me into their homes, and involved me in their routines and rituals. For me, I always felt like an outsider, keen to fit into their worlds and in that process, often feeling both welcomed and alienated at the same time. This morning, I realised that, unless I have been part of the ‘history making’ process within a family unit otherwise, I would never feel like part of the family nor could I- this is because a shared history and the bond that develops in that process is built up over time. Critical incidents can have the effect of accelerating this process. Ultimately, it is the mundane, the non-critical, the day to day decisions and activities that contribute to a family’s cultural bond. In this context, integration into another family means an immersion in that family in order that these routines and rituals can be learnt but also to be part of that family’s daily evolution. This thought brings to mind a chinese tradition- once married, the woman goes to live with the husbands’ family. In this day and age of independence, this scenario is truly antithetical to our present-day values. Yet revisiting this concept in the light of integration, it does not seem all that crazy. In fact, it seems sensible, even necessary for any person to become part of another’s family unit.

Since writing the passage above, I had a call from my aunt informing me that my uncle has been seriously ill with a rare form of Lymphoma. My sense of family has taken on a different shape.

Loss of Life

2011-07-27T08:36:00.001-07:00

I was speaking to an old friend today and it came up in conversation, the phrase 'loss of life'. It is interesting to me how we normally use the phrase 'loss of life' when there's been a death. In my work, in coaching, in therapy, in consulting, it is quite often about breathing life back into life. A midlife crisis is often triggered by a realisation that someone has lived a partial life- that there has indeed been a loss of life- that a vital part of someone's being has been dormant and/ or, for whatever reason, has been 'switched off' to make way for economical survival or prosperity. In mid-life, we realise the cost of this on our soul but by that time, it is a bit difficult. We are entrapped in half-life we have created for and around ourselves. The price at this point is huge so, for many, there is a 'settling' and a surrendering to the inevitability of unfufilled potential. It is not my choice.

Meaning making

2011-07-13T13:25:00.000-07:00

Apparently we are meaning making creatures- it is in our nature. Yet nature itself is without morality- it just is. Stuff happens not because of anything- why should this leaf fall instead of that leaf? Is it because this leaf is better or worse than the other? Of course not. Yet judgement and morality permeates every facet of our lives. It permeates this piece of writing. It may permeate your thoughts as you read this piece of text. My own personal history gives me a closer appreciation of the lack of morality in nature. My mum died relatively young- she was 71 at the time- perfectly healthy, internal organs of a 30 year old. Yet she died suddenly and without warning. Is it her 'karma'? Was it something she did? Did she live a life that 'deserved' a sudden death? I was not able to have successful pregnancies that resulted in a healthy birth of a child- was it right? Does it mean that it was 'probably a good thing' because I may not have been a good mother- that, somehow, it was 'for the best' that I couldn't have children?

Recently, I had a conversation with a great man, Len and in the course of that conversation I said to him 'it was a real pity that he did not take his talent further- that he gave up and never quite developed his immense potential as an artist' and Len's answer was 'it is not a moral question- whether he did or did not. A man has to earn a living. Pure and simple.'

It's a hard to really accept this fully. I have an intellectual understanding of this but I have not yet got to a place of letting go of my need to making meaning and come to true acceptance of the nature of nature.

Reflective and reflexive

2011-06-24T11:38:00.001-07:00

I was talking to a friend today, of a sudden awareness, of how I reflect on my projections- it has become a habitual/ reflexive thing. For a long time, I have wondered what it really means to be reflexive in the context of personal development. This is how I came to the realisation: I was talking to a friend about his friend and how he needs to let go of his daughter to set her free- to be an adult and to carve out a life for herself. As soon as I said that, I though to myself 'What is it that I need to let go of in order to set me and others around me, free?' I have come to agree with my friend and trusted colleague, John, and his saying 'if you spot it, you've got it'. This means pretty much means that everything I pick out, every comment I make is a projection- something I recognise in myself that I have disowned and put it onto someone else. The fact that something stands out for me- that in itself means that it is something that is significant in some way to me- that more likely than not, it is something that I need to pay attention to. The more I am emotional about whatever it is I am picking up, the more this is likely to be true. The reflexivity is doing this self-checking as habit- that I reflect on my thoughts and actions as a matter of course. I do not know exactly when it happened but it is a shock to recognise that it is happening. I suspect that years and months of supervision and unpacking/ processing thoughts and actions in therapeutic training, in consulting and coaching---has, in some way, helped me internalise a process of self-reflection and self-examination. In case it seems like a lot of navel-gazing to you- well, it is and it doesn't have to be. More a case of acute self-awareness.

Resolution, completion?

2011-05-03T12:47:00.000-07:00

I was stunned by the news yesterday that Osama Bin Laden had been killed by US Special Forces. Instead of delivering feelings of justice or closure, the news brought a terrible sense of foreboding. When will the cycle of violence end? It became very clear to me that any hope of 'world peace' is as foolish as believing in Santa Claus. As I turned over events in my mind as well as processing my own feelings, I began to wonder about the notion of 'completion' or 'resolution'.

In Gestalt, completion is a fairly major concept. The act of completion in our 'cycle of experience' enables us to feel satiated and satisfied. Our ability to complete also provides a source of reference and a source of strength for facing challenges in the future. In contrast, incomplete gestalts call for our attention and this 'stuck' or 'trapped' issue will continue to ask for resolution until we are able to bring it to as good a conclusion as possible- given the circumstances. Looking at the situation of Bin Laden and Al Qaeda, it doesn't seem to be the case that resolution from a particular perspective or a particular course of action necessarily leads to long-term overall resolution. In fact, the contrary might well be the case.

As these issues were bubbling away, my thoughts turned to art. It is often difficult to know when a piece of art is 'finished'. For some people, it is never really 'finished' as such. For others, in trying to bring it to a point of completion, we sometimes do something that is just a stroke or a flick too much and the whole is ruined. I looked at some of Turner's later works and once again noticed how much less resolved they were compared with some of his earlier works. As I contemplated on this theme of completion, I emailed a friend, Ken, who is an extraordinary film-maker/ artist who worked with Joseph Beuys, to see what he might say about completion. He said that in his work, there is always the intrapsychical forces reacting with resistances of the medium. The extent to which the two can be reconciled can be detected in the work itself. I spoke with another friend and mentor, Len, who is a well-respected artist and painter and he said that completion is something he has struggled with all his life. That none of his paintings have ever reached a state of completion. In our extraordinary and precious conversation this afternoon, he said:

The reason why I use colours in the way I do is to get a balance...a balance between the parts so as to achieve the whole. The softening and toning down of colours is so that they can sit together...so that people look at the picture and they see the picture as a whole.

What would happen if we were to apply these principles to our most pressing issues in the world today? How is it that we have come to the place where power means power-over one another? To what extent can we have 'completion' if we are always going to have the polarities of right and wrong, good and evil. In fact, how is it that we have come to see polarities as opposing/ competing opposites? What happened to the possibility of complementary opposites?

I will finish with an experiment Len talked me through this afternoon. This track of conversation started with an A4 painting I made a couple of months ago- a blue-black painting that is completely saturated with darkness. I said that every time I looked at it, I was tempted to put a lighter colour on it. He told me to stand about 6 ft away and to focus on the canvas for approximately 1 minute. He then told me to turn my head to the right and look away. He said 'what do you see?' I said 'Oh....a transparent canvas- as if it's been lit up....exactly the canvas but without colour...' He said 'are you sure? It has no colour at all??' I repeated the experiment. Then I SAW...firstly- that the canvas itself had a darker edge with the middle forming a purple-blue rectangular patch. Secondly, when I looked away, I saw yellow. Len said '...hmm...you should also see some orange...' and...I did- very faint. He said, this is what happens to your eye. You have to 'see' the orange in your eyes to be able to pick up the dark blue. It is the complementary opposite...no-one knows why this is so but it is just the way our eyes work.

Easter Saturday

2011-04-23T13:25:00.001-07:00

John sent an email round today speaking of the significance of the day between GoodFriday and Easter Sunday. The day when there is a void- the void between death and (re)birth. In buddism, there is an intermediate state between death and rebirth that is known as 'bardo'. In this state, it is said that our experience is like being in a dream-state as our consciousness leaves our bodily/ gross form. In some buddhist circles, the period between dreaming and being awake is occupied by a void- where we do not dream- there is merely a gap. It is not uncommon for this brief period to be regarded as 'death'.

I am writing this on the eve of returning to Poland- an in-between time when all that I can do in the UK has been done.

I wrote this to John a few days ago:

"...as I write this note to you now, I think that each death provides a space for something else- it is always pregnant with potential. Though oftentimes we wonder what that 'something else' is, what we realise, on reflection, is that where there was something and now there is space, that in itself is already 'something else'".

One year on

2011-04-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

Last night, I filled the last page of my sketch book which I started a year ago. Every page is a placeholder for a moment in time- both in terms of what came through me, the space and place I occupied at the time and what was happening for me at that point in my life. As per usual, I did not have a plan for this page- I simply felt like making a small watercolour. Perhaps it is a reflection of what is going on right now in the world, the colours and pattern moved me to look for something by Rumi and here's what I found:

What is the body?
Endurance.

What is love?
Gratitude.

What is hidden in our chests?
Laughter.

What else?
Compassion.

Celebration of Spring

2011-03-29T12:26:00.001-07:00

Leadership and engagement

2011-03-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

Knowledge workers

Around ten years ago, we started to hear phrases such as ‘knowledge economy’ and ‘knowledge workers’ and with these two ideas, ‘talent management’. Just how much of these ideas are present and how much is fabricated by market researchers and academics? Furthermore, as a CEO, to what extent do they matter to you and your organisation?

The extent to which knowledge workers and talent management are relevant to CEOs today depends greatly on a number of factors such as industry life-cycle and labour market conditions. However, underlying these ideas are two key factors: The extent to which workers’ know-how is unique to your organisation and the changing expectations that different generations bring with them to the workplace.

Know-how

We have been fortunate to have worked in both manufacturing and service industries. While some businesses might appear to have greater sector or organisational-specific know-how, we notice that most organisations have their particular way of running their businesses. Hence, over time, workers not only develop specific knowledge and skills in relation to their jobs, they also develop a way of bundling and applying their knowledge and skills in specific ways that is relevant to the unique demands of the tasks and the organisational culture. Increasingly, those in greatest demand are people who can adapt easily, learn quickly and crucially, people who can reconfigure their know-how in ways that are relevant to new situations. These workers are often the most mobile and the ones most employers want to retain because the cost of replacement is far greater than pure recruitment costs. Given the recent economic crises, we believe that the lull in worker’s mobility is temporary. In fact, even during the recent slow-down, we have seen movement in top talent despite the threat of redundancies and a climate of cost-reduction.

Generational differences

Whilst some people would call generational differences a fad, researches over the last few years have established changing patterns of behaviour and changing expectations as workforce profiles start to shift. In the last ten or so years, we have seen young people taking senior leadership roles- Google and Facebook are the most obvious. We personally knew of a similar 20 something CEO who, by the age of 27, had already handled two company buy-outs. Though these are exceptions, we are nevertheless sensing a bolder and more aspirational cohort of people who are likely to be part of your workforce today:

‘A study in 2004 carried out by Common Purpose, an organisation that offers training for leaders and managers, found that those who were not getting satisfaction at work were hitting a 'quarter-life crisis'. Searching for Something concluded that employers had to accommodate young workers' wider ambitions or risk losing them by the age of 30.

“We see young people that are searching for some sort of meaning in life and if you can't align their values with the organisation they might leave,” said Julia Middleton, the group's chief executive. “I think life is cyclical - and there is a return to people searching for meaning and searching for values.”
(Anushka Asthana, The Observer, Sunday 25 May 2008)

These future leaders are currently likely to be in junior roles or are new recruits in your company. It is not difficult to see how younger generations or, generation Y- those born between 1980s and 2000s, have become more tuned into ‘meaning in life’. Afterall, this is the generation that will have to create new solutions for their own sustainability with climate change and other macro shifts that will profoundly impact mankind. Yet there is a twist: they have also grown accustomed to a life that has been shaped by consumerism. Part of their reality is a constant pull from two poles: The need to sustain and enhance an aspirational lifestyle and the need for meaningful work/ freedom/ self-expression and inclusion. With a foot in each camp, they are likely to expect their workplace to provide them with:

• monetary rewards and a benefits package that will help sustain their aspirational lifestyles while at the same time,
• a freedom of expression, collaborative working, greater autonomy and decision-making and
• trust that they will work out the ‘how’ when given the ‘what’.

The more capable they are, the more likely they are to demand that an employer is able to support them in pursuit of what they love to do and to make possible for them to make a real contribution.

Whilst those of us who belong to generation X- born between 1960s and 1980s who are in executive and senior leadership roles value similar things- autonomy, decision-making and learning- we were also brought up by parents who were more prepared to work hard, keep their heads down and sacrifice today for a better tomorrow. Some of us also remember deep recessions and redundancies, as well as restrictive regimes such as communism. These wider societal and social factors have, to a greater or lesser extent, shaped our relationship with work. We view work as a necessity and are more likely to sacrifice our family life for greater career progression. As a generation, we are usually the ones who have bought into a ‘deferred life plan'.

As a result, it can be mystifying and highly frustrating that we are not seeing the same behaviours from our younger workforce. Viewed from our perspective, this generation may appear to be difficult to manage yet they are potentially the most high performing- highly educated, highly informed, socially adjusted and well-rounded members of our workforce.

More leading less managing

If we are interested in getting the most out of our workforce, we need to understand that this is not a generation that wants to be managed, they are a generation that expects to be lead, inspired, enabled and supported. The influence of communism on our workforce in Poland is that those who lived through the regime in their formative years would value security more than those who were too young to remember. That said, they also yearn for development, ways to make a contribution and to enjoy their work. Our future generation of leaders is inviting us to move away from a highly controlled and controlling environment to one that is contact-based. That is, our ability to make contact with the other person’s needs and aspirations and to give space and support for them to marry their needs with that of the organisation’s requirements.

What are the implications for senior leaders?

The magnet
What is your leadership and organisational practices designed to support? Most organisation structures, processes, procedures and working practices are modelled on the machanised production environment during the industrial revolution. There is a need to take a good look at how your magnet can be redesigned to meet the needs of your workforce and your future generation of leaders.

Invite to create
To what extent are people invited to shape and co-create the future? We see the most enlightened and progressive companies are actively taking steps towards inviting people to step forward and be involved. They know that their people and their creativity is the DNA underlying their competitive advantage. The wisdom lives wherever work is done- not just in the boardroom.

The role of the leader
What is the role of the leader? In a more collaborative and innovative environment, the role of the leader is closer to a mentor and a coach than a boss. The greater aspect of a leader’s job is involved in supporting their people to progress, develop and do more of what they love more often.

Leadership development
Bearing in mind that the capability and capacity of your organisation to innovate and your ability to survive and thrive is largely dependent on your own capacity to allow the organisation to change and respond to both internal and external changing needs. The adaptive ability of the organisation is dependent on your openness to embrace the unknown and to know, from your own experience, that ‘chaos is the birth canal of transformation’. In allowing yourself to open up to new possibilties, you are afforded a different perspective. In knowing what is your TOV and to know what it means that what you do everyday is an expression of your TOV is the best preparation for you to be an engaging leader because you now know what will open the hearts and minds of your entire workforce.

The function of darkness

2011-03-06T23:03:00.000-08:00

I have been sitting with this little piece of musing for a while- not sure whether to release it into the blog or not. So while another is cooking away, I thought I would take a peek...and- it seems like this piece still has some energy. So here it is:

My resurgence in painting was prompted by Ad Reinhardt two years ago and a suggestion was given to me back then that it might be an idea to make a small version of Ad's blue black painting myself.

Well, two years later, I have. It is, what I would call, a 'study'- of colour and form. It is a very interesting journey into this darkest of dark colour and to discover through experimentation, how Ad might have achieved the effects he did- without doing exactly as he did (my technical skills is way short of inadequate) but sort of following his idea. I am discovering a great deal about this colour- the difficulty in achieving complete saturation of colour on canvass. Also, despite the 'formlessness' of this monochromatic world, I found my mind busily putting form and colour on- it was very difficult to just sit with a dark void. Yesterday, I desparately wanted to put some colour into the painting- even the thinnest line of something...so it took great restraint to stick with the colour and to put on just a few shades lighter- to see how much of this colour would be absorbed. This morning, it is fascinating to see that the vibrant blue had dried and become very very muted and in losing it's vibrancy, a subtle hazy hint of 'something' hovering in the background.

While this little study was carrying on, there was a parallel discussion on Lent. I am a huge skeptic when it comes to rituals and in particular, religious rituals. In the context of Lent, I made a mental connection with the dark painting. In giving up bright colours, in staying with this dark dark canvas, I was reminded of vibrancy and of life. It seems a very natural tendency that when we let ourselves let go of what we have and enter a world of 'lessness' that we realise the value of what we have given up. So, just like Lent, we are joyful when we can re-embrace our old habits and the stuff we had before and for a short while, valuing them in a way that we had never valued them before. But what I think we are missing when we do this is the possibility of going down a different path. Even though I am not a christian, I happen to think that Easter is a story that encourages us to live a different life- that through the period of Lent, we allow ourselves to let go of some of our habits that prevent us from realising our full potential and that coming out of Lent, we are able to 'spring' into a newness.

To Niles

2011-02-18T14:21:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in a bar in Seattle yesterday and had the good fortune of chatting with Niles Peacock who was working the bar. First off, he was unusual in that he had incredible eye-contact with me and everyone sitting at the bar. He suggested a Vodka Martini which I hadn't drunk for a long time and glad I was tempted. More to the point, he was talking about creating an experience for and with customers that was, in itself, a masterclass in co-creating and engagement. We found out that Niles was a trained fashion designer and that his first love is creative work- but, it's hard to earn a living doing what he loves the most and I paraphrase what he then said:

'Since it's hard to earn a living doing creative work...I decided to throw myself into this work- afterall, if I am doing this for a living, I would like to give it my best shot- otherwise, what's the point?'

So it was a massive lesson for me when, earlier that day, I was thinking about the sort of work I love to do- deep change, personal development, true engagement, enabling individuals and groups to be free and have courage to go for their 'truths'....that to earn a living, it is necessary to join in with more mainstream work. The difference between me and Niles is that I have yet to 'true up' to this reality and be able to fully occupy this reality with no resentment and sense of compromise. I don't know how this can come about- two options present themselves at the moment- separation between what I love and what I do well and/ or, let go of ideals and flow with whatever presents itself now.

holding on/ letting go

2011-02-08T17:24:00.000-08:00

I have been interested in the work of Otto Scharmer for some time. In particular, his notion of 'letting go' and 'letting come' as part of the U-process of presencing futures. To me, the notion of letting go has buddhist connotations- I make particular connections with meditative practices, alleviation of suffering and impermanence being inheremt aspects of nature.

In the last six months, I have been in the presence of a great teacher, John, who represents for me, in many respects, polaric opposites. In particular, his sense of personal history and identity that seems to be defined by the holding on to significant aspects of his past. Not only does he have artefacts that belong to past generations of his family, he has books, paper cuttings and a vast array of memorabilia that defines who he is, where he's come from and what he represents. He is also a prolific writer and has subscribers that run into thousands and that excludes the amount of people whom he has 'touched' through books, talks and workshops.

In stark contrast, I make a point of never keeping anything- whenever I left a place of employment, I made sure I left everything behind. This was a deliberate decision on my part to reinvent and create new works. But as a consequence of this decision, I have no explicit thing I can point at to say- 'that's me'. This is both freeing and disconcerting as I find myself in new places being overwhelmed by unfamiliarity with very little to hold onto. Speaking to Carol recently on a peer coaching phone-call, she suggested that I should do something which I have mastery- in my mind, I translated 'mastery' to simply something I knew I can do. It seemed to make a lot of sense though no immediate task or opportunity came to mind. A few weeks later, I was lucky enough to go skiing for a day and in that day, I, uncharacteristically, did not go for very difficult or challenging runs but runs I could comfortably do- and enjoy- with no deliberate effort nor thinking. I cannot begin to tell you what that did for me. I was able, in skiing down relatively comfortable runs, to feel free to enjoy my competence, to ground myself and to give myself just enough 'history' to hold onto- just enough to give me enough hand-holding to go from feeling totally overwhelmed to feeling more in control. It had nothing to do with control over my environment- which continued to be alien and unfamiliar, but a FEELING of being in control of my feelings of overwhelmness. In one day, I found myself in a different place which in turn enabled me to become gradually more connected with what is now arising and to be more open to my own internal 'calling' as well as what the environment is calling me to do. This insight was only possible in the chaos of letting go- and most significantly, with grace, for the reminder from Carol- the gift of holding on and in doing so, a readiness for new possibilities to present themselves- in what Otto might call 'letting come'.

Gunnen

2010-09-25T04:22:00.000-07:00

On the last night of the OD World Summit in Budapest, I was sitting with Stef and Shirine and, in the course of our conversation about relationships, Stef used the Dutch word 'gunnen' which he did not have a translation for. Shirine came out with this explanation: When you give space to someone because they deserve it...they have earnt it. The english translation on the web is 'not begrudge, not envy'. I thought it is interesting how the english translation is in the negative ie in the 'not'. Such is the knot of language, relationships and meaning-making. I wonder whether 'gunnen' is the same as 'given freely without expectations' or 'given unconditionally'. When I love someone, I often find myself wanting to grab hold of them, to protect them, to not want to let them go, to spend all my time with them etc. Of late, I am waking up to 'gunnen'- that loving someone is also about letting them go and do their thing- even if it means, ultimately, they go off to do whatever is most 'right' for them at this point in their journey. In buddhism, compassion or loving-kindness is often used instead of the word 'love' such that there is a differentiation between love without attachments and love which is more attached to people, places and things. Perhaps effective relating is about knowing when attachment is unhelpful to the grow and natural flow of the other and, being aware of this, to be able to exercise gunnen.

Madness

2010-09-22T13:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here's the scoop. Life is mad but if we go with the flow our life, it's a blast!

Field of Souls

2010-09-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

Walking the fields as morning stirs
I see tiny tiny glistening gem drops.
The hand of God overnight
Scattering handfuls of glitter
Softly dusting lush carpets of green and brown.
The light from these jewels
Lighting up my soul.
For as long as they return
So men have a chance
To see their own souls
Reflected in one hundred thousand bright jewels
Shining in the sun.

Gratitude

2010-08-22T15:59:00.000-07:00

How amazing to be in Budapest. Last time I was here was 5-6 years ago- different time, different space, different place. The air quality tonight is amazing- everything pin sharp against dark clear sky, graced by the presence of a full moon. How amazing to have spent the last few hours with Ray, someone I met at Nova Scotia a few years back; how amazing to have met Christina again- she was at the Open Space event here last time I was in Budapest- she has just returned from five years away from here- her home. So I have a sense of 'returning' and in that place of 'returning' also a sense of opening and something new. Interestingly, Ray is not the Ray I remember- in Ray I feel strongly a sense of movement and I am reminded of the currents and flow of life. I didn't recognise Ray at first and it wasn't until we spoke for a bit that I started to realise that I had met him before. I approached Ray with a question which rose up in me as I stared into the blue-black wash of the boat, glimpses of silver-grey dancing and tumbling under the bright full moon, surrounded by beautiful, historic, majestic buildings- I asked him 'do we choose the life we lead or do we simply live a life that is presented to us?' I am still pondering this question as I type into existence, whispers of thoughts that drift, like smoke, in and out of my mind. I was also with the feeling of deep gratitude- for the clients, family, friends, teachers and colleagues past and present- who have brought me to this point, now.

Power

2010-08-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

It's been sometime since I last looked at Rothko and Reinhardt. I sat with them again a few days ago and the power and energy conveyed through their art remain as strong as ever. When I sit with these two works, projected onto a large screen, their power to consume me is so great that I have to consciously stand my ground to declare my aliveness. I find their pull magnetic.

Not many things in the world can have this effect.

Fusion

2010-08-13T03:12:00.001-07:00

Amy Barnes-Leung, 12th August 2010. Watercolour on paper.

A fusion of experiences from the Adirondacks in the USA, a beautiful reserve near South Moreton, Oxfordshire, the Thames, Windsor Great Park and Hamstead Marshall, West Berkshire.

Genius

2010-08-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

Photograph taken by Rosie aged 6 on 4th August 2010.

Tony Judt

2010-08-08T14:09:00.000-07:00

I read in the Observer today that Tony Judt, historian, teacher, writer- died after a two-year struggle with motor neuron disease. He struck me as incredibly clear and unsentiment in his writings. What particularly struck me in this article was:

'In an email correspondence published in the July edition of Prospect magazine, Judt discussed how, lying awake at night trapped in his body, he would review his life and prepare for dictating a series of highly personal essays published in the NYRB shortly before he died.

The process was cathartic, he said. "I don't think I enjoyed living as much as I should have done – too busy thinking about it all the time. So now I am enjoying thinking about it (which is a different sort of thinking) and getting as close to enjoying it in the moment as retrieved memory will permit."'

And-

'On dying: The meaning of our life ... is only incorporated in the way other people feel about us. Once I die, my life will acquire meaning in the way they see whatever it is I did, for them, for the world, the people I've known. New York magazine, 7 March'

For fuller articles about this incredible man, please go to:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2010/aug/07/historian-tony-judt-dies

Hughie O'Donoghue- Night Swimming

2010-08-06T14:41:00.000-07:00

From http://www.jameshymangallery.com/pages/artistsingle/5816/paintings/hughie_o%27donoghue-night_swimming.html

The last 48 hours

2010-08-05T14:35:00.000-07:00

In the last 48 hours I have been treated to a consistent message from three different sources of light: Perls, Ram Dass, Len, Anna, Lama Lhanag, Ani Pema, Venerable Miao Lin:

We only have this moment- what is present in the here and now. To be alive is a gift/ a miracle.

With gratitude to Dan

2010-08-03T04:31:00.000-07:00

From my friend Dan whom, by the grace of god I met at a bbq recently. He is such a gift. This is a piece of writing from him.

"People"

When i look at you i know you suffer to i know behind the mask
so much sorrow has passed, yet when one of you smiles at me
my heart babbles with joy, even though you are at a distance
i know through innterconnectedness we are as close as twins
what if war broke out and we found ourselfs on opposite sides
I couldnt could you? I have always found myself by tasting the
salt from your tears and touching the tenderness of your hearts,
Life is so short so fragile and its hard to say i love you through
death lips so i'll keep saying it whilst im alive to keep the door of
compassion my heart open, Are you like me does your happiness
sometimes give way to the spirit of lonliness if it does you will know
like me how important you all are, If hell exsists it would be a place
far from you and for heaven i see that all in you i see it in the childrens
play i see it in the kisses of lovers i hear it from the morning birds
and i feel it when i see you in joy, I love myself because i love you
all the people of my true family. "Om mani padme hum"
I sought my soul and i could not see!
I sought my god and he eluded me!
I sought my brother and found all three.

Metta dan

Karina

2010-07-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

I was working on-site today and I wore a bracelet that belonged to my mother. Not long after I arrived on-site, Karina saw my bracelet and said 'Oh, rose quartz- opening heart chakra, open heart, compassion, unconditional love....hmmm-your rose quartz is dead, you should bury it- the energy has been spent...' I was really shocked. She explained that the rose quartz should be pink and when it goes white, it is dying/ dead. She said 'you see, the stones on your bracelet are white- it means that the unconditional love, the energy has been spent- all gone. You should bury it in the ground so that it can re-energise itself.' I was stunned because it belonged to my mum- who is dead. I was stunned because I hadn't noticed the whiteness before. I was stunned because I didn't know that even though it's a stone, it is still alive and still giving. I was also stunned because my own energy of unconditional love and compassion also feels spent and, her advise of burying it, of returning it to it's source so that the stones can regather it's energy from the earth is deeply meaningful and it is so resonant with what I need to do now. I am grateful for Karina for sharing with me her insight and I will take heed of the message that has been sent to me from the universal energetic field. Thank you.

A remarkable person

2010-07-27T14:17:00.000-07:00

From a Gestalt day

2010-07-24T13:12:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday today. I spent it with a Gestalt group. This is a gift from David Bamber today- what you can't hear you can't speak.

Vectors

2010-07-22T17:05:00.000-07:00

Darkness to darkness
Darkness to light
Light to darkness
Light to light.

Wants and needs

2010-07-22T11:22:00.000-07:00

I was reflecting this morning on 'change' and my own path in deepening my understanding of facilitating change. It struck me how, in working with clients, that often I am provided with what the client wants rather than what they need. This happens with some frequency in psychotherapy whereby clients want to get away from their presenting situation and they want to 'get better'. Often, they want someone to magic away their problems or to give them some formulation they can enact and then voila- sorted. I often find it tempting to provide solutions- particularly when I am in a time-limited relationship. However, what therapeutic work has taught me is that what clients want may not be what they need. Often, we are so embedded in our patterns that we simply cannot see how we act in repeatedly self-defeating ways. Even when we are aware of these patterns, we sometimes struggle to create new ways of acting and being. The therapeutic world is not different from the organisational world- for me, I am finding that my therapeutic experiences inform and ground my organisational work. Yesterday I was in a meeting with a couple of senior managers and their issue was with a member of staff whom they have struggled with for a longish period of time. Through our conversation, some of their habitual patterns of relating became more evident. Even though one of the senior managers managed to catch herself in mid-flow twice and pointed out to herself (and us) how she was, once again, thinking and envisioning acting in exactly the same way as she always did- she struggled with being able to come up with alternatives. I had to stop myself in the moment from wanting to provide answers because that would have repeated their habitual dynamics of the three roles of attacker, victim and rescuer. This was/ is change in action. I also reflected on how our change in action was made possible by the longevity of our relationships and how, over time, with the help of trust, we were able to do what we did yesterday. I further reflected on how often in the past, particularly at the beginning, I delivered what they wanted rather than what they needed. I confess at least 50% of the time I was drawn into doing what they wanted. However, I am thinking now, without that compromise at the beginning, would we have got to where we got to yesterday?

Acknowledging interdependencies

2010-07-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

I was going to write about 'transformation' when suddenly it seemed more figural to jot down my thoughts about interdependencies. What triggered that thought was looking at the picture of my hands with paint and realising that the action captured in that moment in time would not have been possible had it not been for the presence of Andrew James Campbell- afterall, he was the one who took the photo and he was the one who was pivotal in tipping me back into a creative space- in particular, my reconnection with painting. And when I acknowledge him, I am also acknowledging all those who are supporting, have supported, inputed and influenced his life. Without being egotistical, I wish also to acknowledge my own willingness in this venture and all those who supports, have supported, inputed and influenced my life. As I write this down, I am reminded of Capra's book title- 'The Web of Life'.

Guts

2010-07-12T15:29:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been thinking a lot about artists- there is something about artists and the 'fraternity' which is unlike any other groups I have come to know. I am not speaking from an expert viewpoint nor am I speaking as an artist per se. I am speaking from a place of, as Andrew James Campbell is fond of saying 'slipping glimpses'- so it is through the very limited encounters I've had with artists, that there is a reason for the fraternity- a 'sticking together'. My sense is, in real artists, each person puts so much of themselves- of their guts- in their art. Every authentic artist knows this- so it is not surprising that I feel they have a propensity to 'close ranks'. This is unlike any other profession I have come across. Not only do they put their guts/ dirty laundry/ emotion/ psychological being in their art, a lot of them is courageous enough to put themselves in an exhibition- for all to see, to scrutinise, to pass judgement, to meet subjectively. In my view, that takes a lot of guts to do so; a lot of self-believe. I met with an artist, Tom, who recently told me that at the age of 55, he decided to follow his vocation as an artist- starting from scratch. Prior to his life as an artist, he had been in television and producing tv shows. Anyhow, I remember him saying 'never apologise for your art' and that has stayed with me. In particular, the sheer amount of commitment and belief in what you do. In that place, it is the process that counts, not other people's judgement. So that's where I've been- reflecting on my own actions, guts and self-belief. I am also aware of my lack of 'fraternity' and how nice it would be that sometimes, it is nice to have people on your side, to 'close ranks'. So I look at this fraternity and I am suddenly aware of probably never being admitted to this 'club'.

Creativity and life

2010-07-08T14:31:00.000-07:00

I was pointed to a Radio 4 programme on Creativity a few days ago by Andrew James Campbell. I missed the original programme but managed to catch up on it a few days later. A phrase used in the programme really resonated with me- something along the lines of:

What we all have in common is that our lives are finite and we never know the full meaning of our lives while we live it.

This sentence brings to mind my mum who always said to me rather wistfully, that she lived a very stable and uneventful life. To this day I do not know how she really felt about her life. I don't think she ever realised the meaning of her life and centrality of her role- nor did we. It wasn't until she died- for a year or more afterwards, my dad used to be confronted by all sorts of people in shops and restaurants who would approach him to ask after her- she impacted many people's lives by her warmth and caring attitude. I remember vividly that the week she passed away, we were sitting in a restaurant making funeral arrangements and a woman who was serving us was so upset she could not speak to us. Dad told me that when she first arrived from China my mum used to speak to her in her dialect and gave her a lot of help in relation to her welfare in Toronto. This proved to be very painful for my dad who was constantly reminded of her absence when all he wanted to do was to get over her death. The whole extended family also disintegrated within the year in her absence- there was no-one to hold everyone together- it was her holding and her love that enabled everyone to transcend their differences to find a place of accommodation and unity.

I see her smiley photo now and remind myself that a lovely, beautiful person has been reduced ashes that she never really knew and will never know the true value of her existence.

Falling

2010-07-06T15:47:00.000-07:00

I went for a run on Sunday. While running downhill I became aware of the strain on my knees and wondered what whether it would be more or less straining if I were to lean forward. I shifted my weight forward such that I felt more running into the downward slope rather than 'against it' ie leaning back. This proved much easier and less straining. I made a connection with skiing and how, on very steep slopes- I am thinking of La Face at Val d'sere where the pitch is quite serious and where it is more often than not, icy- deserving of a 'black' run...how it was counter-intuitive to lean into the fall-line and how it was counter-productive to be leaning back- it is a paradox- if you lean into the fall-line, you have more control over your skis and your speed; conversely, because one is scared, the tendency to lean backwwards as a natural reaction to fear of falling...so it is very interesting to me that to lean into falling is less straining, more efficient and effective than trying to 'get away' from falling. So I wonder whether when something is coming to an end, 'letting go' is really about falling into the end- allowing oneself to be immersed in the ending rather than the urge/ natural inclination to hang-on to the past or resisting what in essence, is a natural phenomenon- part of a cycle of
birth <-> death. This in turn raises the question of sustainability and how it is now very fashionable to use the word 'sustainability'. Does nature seek to preserve itself? Does nature seek to prolong it's own life? I think not. It seems to me that nature does not attempt to overcome/ overpower/ control nature itself.

Void

2010-05-19T10:48:00.000-07:00

It is shocking to me that my last entry was July 2009. Much has happened in the intervening months. It seems impossible that I have been and I am still going through such restructuring in my life- yet this is where I am. In Gestalt, there is a phrase called 'creative void', 'fertile void' or 'zero point'. In Presencing Institute's Theory U model, it is the bottom of the U process- the 'Letting Go'/ 'Letting Come' point. Reading about such moments and experiencing such moments are somewhat different. I am experiencing both zero point of void- where much of what has been seems to have been obliterated and where the ground is, for now, totally unstable. At the same time, I am also faced with a series of 'letting go'- being reflective for a moment, I feel that there are many levels of letting go with life itself being the ultimate letting go. So this is praxis. What of 'creative adjustments' themselves? What of 'creativity' itself. Theoretically, creativity SHOULD be at it's most fertile- it is not my experience right now. I intend to take myself into solitary retreat over the next few days- I wonder what, if any answers will emerge.

Source

2009-07-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

I had a skype conversation with my partner a few days ago and he described a profound experience of co-creating a series of movements with someone who was not a dancer by training. The conversation left me full of feelings about so many aspects of relating and relationships. One of which is my sadness from being aware of how my own capabilities and capacities as a dancer has diminished over time. Time and physical deterioration is actuely felt by me as limits to expression. It is beyond words how frustrated I feel when I 'see' movement in my mind but my body cannot give it the fullest expression it demands. That evening, after the 'conversation', I danced and moved in my flat for about two hours and realised the loss of 'vocabulary' but not necessarily 'language'.

Today, he sent me an article by Rodin describing Balinese dancers and dance. This was my response to him:

I find this article thoroughly enjoyable, surfacing a feeling/ sort of insight
dimly in me since you described your experiencing with xxx...you often speak
of beginner's mind- this also applies to movement- which is my reading of
Rodin's writing...so it loops back to Arawana's work- The Art of Making a True
Move...so it loops back to the only picture I have- of me, in motion (I had no
idea the picture was taken)...and- that evening, after our skype text about
your communion, I moved and danced in my flat for about 2 hours...exploring
relationships between influences of past 'training' and flow and creativity and
form and 'true' or 'authentic' movement- their relationship with source- not
just source- but where is the source/ wellspring in my body and how the 'where'
relates to the 'what' in expression, charge/ discharge, energy, quality...

What I omitted was...and the realisation of loss- how much has been lost through time and premature pruning of green shoots of talent- way, way, back then...so now, I wonder, given what is and where I am now, what remains? What is possible?

EPP in London- 11.3.09

2009-03-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

At last, after waiting for 2 years almost to the date, we got together with two others to continue the Embodied Presence Practice work in London. It was amazing to be able to move with a couple of other people. I felt it took some time for me to tune into the group- tuning inwards was easy but tuning into the wider emerging field was much more difficult. I found it difficult not to get into 'head mode' and, perhaps because of the long wait, to make the most of this precious time we have together by creating or doing 'stuff'. I felt that when we sat in a circle at the end and worked with gestures/ true moves there was a very different quality about the gestures and I was more able to move with what was truly emerging in the moment between us.

Brighton Fringe- Critical Incident '09

2009-02-18T07:51:00.000-08:00

I laughed out loud when I saw these photos- great memories of last year! We hope to return to Brighton Fringe this year to do something...what???

2009-02-06T04:36:00.000-08:00

Snowy 6th Feb 2009

It's been a while since I last blogged- it's not to say that I haven't thought about it but I haven't been moved enough to blog. So it's kinda ironic that my blog was set up in relation to movement and how the lack of significant movement has stopped me from blogging.

Since the buffet last May, I haven't organised any group moving event. I have been very wrapped up with entering my 3rd year of psychotherapy training, looking for and starting placements etc. So it was to my surprise that a few weeks ago, when I casually looked up the Presencing Institute to see what, if anything, might be happening, I saw the 'community' section of PI. What's more, I was overjoyed when I saw that I could join the community. I feel it's been a long time coming- like I have been waiting for a long time to connect with others who have been touched by Otto's Presencing workshop in one form or another. I am now really excited by the prospect of being able to meet up with others in London in a couple of weeks- I can't wait to see who they are and what connects us. Another unexpected surprise is that Arawana, who is the inspiration behind some of my longing for movement and moving in groups, will be in London in a couple of weeks. I am looking forward so much to finding out more about her Presencing Theatre and to see what that involves. Also related to it is the potential opportunity to meet the people who will be attending Arawana's Embodied Presence Practice workshop in London....who knows, moving in groups might happen yet!

Creative buffet at Brighton Fringe

2008-05-13T14:33:00.002-07:00

Just returned from co-creating a 'creative buffet' with Chris at the Critical Incident which is part of the Brighton Festival Fringe events. At last, Otto Scharmer's 'landing strip' was created and our first flight took off. It was really enjoyable- 10 strangers coming together with no set agenda and created a multi-layered series of music, movement and art improvisations. Some people commented to say that the last time they played like that was when they were children. I enjoyed the unknown and unexpected aspect of this type of collaboration- at one point, two people created a mini play which was really funny and at another point, someone was moving in a semi tai chi way and was really beautiful to watch. It was a rich, unexpected and filling buffet!

Generative listening

2007-09-08T14:04:00.000-07:00

In the 'fishbowl' where we travelled down the U into generative listening....

P.S. Check out Biodynamic Message

2007-07-24T09:59:00.000-07:00

Biodynamic Message is the most profound experience I have ever had! Try it at the London Biodynamic Message clinic London Bridge. Great value and you will be helping 3rd/ 4th year students get their client experience.

Reactions to 'body work'

2007-07-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday today. The sun is shinning. My friend Nadia gave me a Kenny Rogers CD and it's playing in the background. I am feeling chilled-out. Somehow, I was reminded to jot down what happened a couple of weeks back when I was prompted to introduce some body-related exercises in a group of Exec Coaches. So here it is.

During our checking-in session, we somehow got onto the subject of presence and presencing whereupon I shared with the group Arawana's workshops. After our morning break, the group facilitator suggested we did something around that topic. I walked through the Field Dance. When I got back to my seat, I felt some discomfort from others around performing in front of people though I did emphasise that it was not a 'performance' as such. The facilitator suggested we could perhaps do something with our hands- what would happen if we let our hands do what they wanted to do and moved accordingly. We talked about the options, what we could do, how we could approach it etc. There was a lot of talking about. I got up and said that we could simply close our eyes and let our hands take us to where the energy was in order to connect with others. I had my arms outstretched to feel my way through the space. At some point, my hands were met with another set of hands. We touched and moved. I felt playful, unsure, curious and nervous in turn. It always puzzles me how much can be conveyed through touch. Anyhow, we branched out and others joined and left. A couple of people did not feel they want to join in. Afterwards, some felt it was an unusual (and enjoyable) experience. Others couldn't see the point in it. This reaction was not new. A few months ago, I experimented with Chris and another colleague. Chris and I were very enthused after Rosendale. Our colleague was not impressed. He didn't see the point in it. He could not see 'corporates' doing any of it. It was ok as a hippy thing but- well, not corporates in a million years. He recommended more instructions and positioning.

Yesterday and today, I happened to have delivered a couple of workshops. One of them was about managing stress and the other, though not specifically on stress, the topic came up. Neither group struck me as being hippy. In fact, quite the opposite. However, in both cases, they were willing to close their eyes and try some relaxation techniques- some were quite eager to learn. So there I was with a group of people, in meeting rooms, lights off, eyes closed....now who would have thought that they would enjoy it?

Last weekend, I attended a weekend workshop on body-related psychotherapy. It was a taster weekend. It was a very small group and we were joined by a journalist who was a little stressed. She thought she would like it as it seemed to be related to yoga in some way. We moved around, connecting with each part of our bodies. We were about half-way into the morning when the journalist decided it was too slow and it just wasn't for her. Interestingly, those who remained, including me, had a moving and profound weekend.

So maybe movement and bodywork is a little bit like marmite- you either love it or you hate it. Put another way, you either 'get it' or you really- don't.

Unspoken support

2007-07-02T14:04:00.000-07:00

It's been a month since our last posting. How time passes. We have not been moving for a month. We had two potential opportunities of which one was cancelled and the other postponed until September. Chris has been working on a number of other things. As a result, I haven't been moving with someone for a while. So last week, after a very long day in a windowless office, I was feeling very lacking in energy. I arrived at my therapist's room very low. I started to follow what I intuitively needed- to jump and move. I started with the use of chairs in the room then moved to the floor where I made a couple of forward rolls. I started to move with my therapist and he supported me in a few upside down stretches, handstands and twists. I used his body as support to bend and stretch. I carried on, each move prompted by what my body demanded without thinking too much about it. After an hour, I felt totally alive and buzzing. I only wish that I could do more of this more frequently. I always feel more present, more alive- just- more!

Notes from the Field.

2007-05-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

Here are some observations following our recent session.

Beginning with the meditation is exactly what is needed; by focussing on your breath, you start to notice thoughts coming in and out of your head (expectations, preconceived ideas, judgements of self and others, random trivia etc). After twenty minutes, your mind calms down, and the overriding feeling is of sinking or falling into the body. The quiet intellect is now in a position to witness the intelligence of the body, which although largely unacknowledged, is ever present in our day to day lives. We lie down, we stand up, we walk, we turn, we acknowledge each other through bowing.

A friend of mine from Northern Ireland, regularly uses the phrase 'catch yourself on', which basically means 'wake up', or 'get with the programme' etc. Through just being in our bodies, we can indeed 'catch ourselves on'. There is no-thing to do, now-here to be, no-one to impress; there's just your breath, your body and the floor. What luxury! Yes, and no. True, it is a gift to be able to deepen our physical awareness through authentic or archetypal movement, rather than just 'going through the motions', so to speak. It is, however a crucial, and largely overlooked source of energy and creativity; you might even say it is the source. Everything goes back to the body, so it would serve us well to re-member and reconnect.

This, of course, leads to more questions; Where do we disconnect, and why? Why is touch perceived as taboo, in Western culture especially? Has our reliance on technology increased our disembodiement, replacing physical connection with virtual connectivity?

Embodied Presence Practice, as conceived by Arawana is one (very effective) way of redressing the balance. The vocabulary of the body isn't about words; it's about sensation and feeling, and so in order to get grounded we need to go with the flow, and avoided rationalisation. An important aspect of the work, is being witnessed by your peers, who are actively supporting and encouraging the unfolding of your genuine expression. A very simple, yet powerful way to validate the experience.

That's it for now...more to follow! Chris.

Adding moves

2007-05-27T01:21:00.000-07:00

We have been experimenting with the addition of 'moves' such as a lean, a click of the fingers, clapping hands, touch or contact and sound. We noticed that leaning or contact has the effect of taking us into contact improvisation. A lean in particular had the effect of taking us into dance with the observer, Simon, noticing that it looked like 'modern dance'. Sound had the effect of taking me out of my body and into creating something. An option we are experimenting with at the moment is the use of Arawana's 'archetyple' moves and if the opportunity arose, we would move into contact improvisation and when that is over, to return to the basic moves. It was interesting to notice the difference in energy and it was possible to maintain awareness without losing the emergent nature of what was in creation nor awareness of the field.

What Chris wrote for the 23rd June

2007-05-10T12:23:00.000-07:00

The Source : Connecting with the Here and Now.

Do you ever get the feeling that your mind is like a cluttered desk, which could do with a good clearout? Does it sometimes feel that your body is just a glorified taxi, which takes your overloaded brain from A to B? At the end of the day, when you try to sit down and relax, do you find it impossible to switch off and just be? Why does doing nothing seem so difficult?

In our superconnected times, a prevailing paradox is that the more we rely on technology for communication and information, the less integrated we become on a physical level. Our relationships with ourselves, each other, and our surroundings are becoming more virtual and disembodied. What can be done to return to a more holistic state of being and doing, whilst remaining in our brave new technoworld? How can we re-member ourselves, and is there a point anyway?

At the Source, our main preoccupation is getting people connected; with themselves, with each other , and with their environment. How do we do this? By creating space for awareness. In our ongoing work in the field of leadership development and training, we have identified a recurring theme from feedback we receive, namely how much more energised and alive people feel after a creative hands-on session; whether it be music, movement, visual art or storytelling. It is this feeling of being grounded that we take as a platform for authentic self expression, and for developing trusting relationships, as we recognise both our uniqueness, and our common humanity.

Through the creative and experiential process, we invite groups to embark on a journey into the interior. Initially, this requires a still mind and an awake body, so to that end, we employ a simple, yet powerful series of exercises to suspend our rational thought patterns, to let go of our preconceived ideas, and to connect with the here and now; just a group of bodies breathing in the present. From this still point, we can begin to integrate our minds and hearts with our bodies, then with each other, and our environment. This is a place of remarkable creative potency. Sportsmen describe it as ‘being in the zone’. The Japanese call it ‘Sartori’, a state of being, where nothing is happening, but the potential for action is ever present. In their book ‘Presence’, Peter Senge, Otto Scharmer et.al describe this in developmental terms as ‘Theory U’.

In relation to this work, we have just completed a course with a colleague of theirs, Arawana Hayashi, which is called ‘Embodied Presence Practice’. We are planning to continue working with Arawana in the future, and in the meantime, are happy to acknowledge her important contribution to our understanding of this crucial area of our own development.

Brighton May 2007

2007-05-09T14:05:00.000-07:00

Making space for awareness
There are fundamentally two different ways in which we create new things. The first approach is where we reach out to the world and actively seek new ideas. In our fast-moving, downloading culture, there is a strong pressure to decide what we are looking for and then to apply our focused attention on the world around us in order to find it. But this ‘will-based’ or driving process can have the effect of placing a limit on our degree of openness to what else might be present. As a result, what we think is ‘breakthrough’ may only be ‘repackaging’, leaving a great deal of potential unmanifested.

The other way to create new things is to let the world come to us. This mode of creation is in harmony with the world. It involves us being completely “present” and feeling and sensing everything which is happening, so that we can really sense all the opportunities there are for creation.

This introductory three hour workshop is an opportunity to experiment with ways in which we can develop a greater capacity for creativity, by taking in more of what our environment has to offer, so that we allow the world to come to us. Sometimes, the most ordinary is also the most unique.

Participants in the workshop will be able to share some new techniques from ‘Embodied Presence Practice’ developed by Arawana Hayashi. Arawana is a dancer, choreographer and a Shambhala senior meditation teacher. She is currently working with Otto Scharmer at the Presencing Institute in the USA. She looks at how embodied practices can be used to bring about profound change for some of the most pressing social and global issues.

The facilitators at the Critical Incident, Amy and Chris, will be sharing some of the basic practices which can enable individuals and groups to increase awareness and widen their window of perception, so that they are better able to sense what is emerging in their environment. The session will start on an individual basis and, time allowing, be extended to whole group sensing. Simple movements will be used. No dance background is needed. We consider participants to be co-creators.

‘Your state of consciousness determines how you act in the world and interact with others.’ Eckhart Tolle, ‘New Earth’, 2006.

The facilitators

Chris Tero is a qualified dancer, mover and musician. He freelances in corporate, higher educational and entertainment fields.

Amy Barnes is a facilitator, Gestalt coach and trainer. She freelances in corporate and further educational fields.

Amy and Chris are working together to develop Embodied Presence Practice and to see how it may be used in the service of bringing greater awareness, integration, connection and wholeness to individuals and groups.

The beautiful picture was taken in Hawaii by our great friend and collaborator, Simon MacCarty.

Interdependence Day October 2007

2007-05-09T13:43:00.000-07:00

Some quick thoughts for Interdependence Day. I would love to get attendees involved in a piece of co-creation so that we embody the essence of our 'interdependencies'. Here's what I wrote last Saturday on the boat in Southampton:

Potential titles: Moments/ Emergence/ Emerging landscapes; The dance between; Connecting to the field; The making of us

We are a working group that is interested in the process of how we sense our own emergence, how we contribute to the energy of a given ‘system’ or ‘field’, how we connect with that energy and what happens when we do. We feel that experiencing these processes might help us co-develop answers on the most pressing questions for actors within that field.

We are interested in exploring the process and dynamics of ‘interdependence’ and it’s relationship with independence within a given ‘system’ or ‘field’. We do this by inviting everyone in the system or field to participate in a series of simple movements ‘sets’ so that we are better able to access a direct, felt sense of how interdependence happens. Post movement, the group will have an opportunity to explore whatever emerges. We feel that this awareness could provide us with useful insights as actors and contributors in any given system and compliments the insights generated by objective research.

Our approach is based on the work of Arawana Hayashi’s ‘Embodied Presence Practice’, Otto Scharmer’s ‘Theory U’ and ‘Presence’ in helping to bring about profound social innovation, Gestalt, meditative practices and the principles of Open Space Technology.

Chris Tero is a musician, facilitator and qualified dancer, Amy Barnes is an organisational coach, facilitator and trainer. They are working together to develop ‘Embodied Presence Practice’ and are actively looking for ways in which this type of approach could be used to help individuals and groups.