16899

So here it is, 16,899 +/- 1 day due to time zone differences. The number of days I've been alive on this earth. 16,899 sunrises and 16,899 sunsets. The question is, how many of those have I truly enjoyed? How many of those have I been fully present?

Lately, I've felt really disconnected and uninspired. I have come to realise the importance of place, space and time to me. In the last few years, I have grown to appreciate how nutured I feel when I am in nature. Living away from the UK, I desparately miss the woodlands and open countryside. At this time of the year when the air is sharp and the trees are resplendent in their reds, oranges and gold- there is nothing quite like being in the countryside- being one with nature. The most alive I've felt were some of the days in a little cottage in the depths of the West Berkshire countryside in the UK- surrounded by open fields and a depth of silence that connected me with my soul.

In this new place which I have yet to call 'home', I have not been able to take photos, write or paint. I wonder what it will take for me to return to reconnect with my sources of inspiration.

My favourite poem by Wagoner:

Lost

Stand still.

The trees ahead and bushes beside you are not lost.

Wherever you are is called Here,

And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,

Must ask permission to know it and be known.

The forest breathes. Listen.

It answers,I have made this place around you,

If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.

No two trees are the same to Raven.

No two branches are the same to Wren.

If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,You are surely lost.

Stand still.

The forest knows where you are.

You must let it find you.