Follow-through and Breakthrough

The word 'breakthrough' is used with some frequency in the business world. In the past, I had some issues with the differences between change and breakthrough. In the context of New Year and New Year Resolutions, I was wondering about wishes I had/ have for myself, for my work, for friends, for colleagues and for clients...nothing came to me. I felt quite flat- lacking in any excitement for the year ahead. I could have lied to myself and just labelled my state of being as being 'peaceful' or 'open' or something like that. But the reality was/ is that I have a pervading sense of flatness. During this time, I made a BIG investment in a new laptop and in the course of tranferring all my folders and files across from the old machine to the new one, I came across many photos, paintings and drawings I made in the last few years- I was in a particularly fertile creative groove a couple of years ago and spent many hours taking photos, drawing and painting. As I looked through them, I was struck by how much I had produced and how lovely some of them were/ are. I could also see that something nascent- glimmers of emergent themes and images nestled in the mishmash of 'stuff'. I was also aware of how differently I felt about them as I looked at them in January 2013 compared with December 2011- I did not see then what I saw a week ago. Then I wondered why I stopped- I was busy- yes...but I think the real reason for stopping was a lack of inspiration and a feeling of not getting anywhere- that I was stuck in a pattern- I could not breakthrough to make better art because I was busy, I did not have the skill, I lacked techniques etc etc. The truth was, I felt stuck, dried up and a bit lost. A few days ago, we made a final project review/ presentation to a client company and we commented to say that the client system had a pattern of 'lack of follow-through'. In my discussion with John afterwards, I described the importance of follow-through in many sport. I remembered the hours of tennis coaching I had and how it was stressed to me that power came NOT from hitting the ball hard but on the follow-through of my swing. Connecting all these thoughts, I started to wonder about the relationship between follow-through and breakthrough. My dear dear friend, Janet, who runs a very successful business said to me on New Year's Eve- that just when they thought they could not carry on any further, they found the strength to just carry on a little bit more and that was when things started to happen and their business broke through to a new level. Maybe my school teachers were right- maybe 'sticking at things' is the rite of passage for true potential to be realised.

Emerging themes for 2013:  Perseverence, follow-through, momentum, building, realisation.

TIME

I went to a friend's house last weekend and met their 'korean' friend- actually a polish friend who had worked a lot in Korea. Anyway, it was 12 midnight and their antique clock sounded---'dong, dong, doonnng' twelve times. We commented on how loud the clock was...then their friend, Grzegorz told me a story about a friend of his who knew a master craftsman watchmaker. This old master had access to an ancient book of watchmaking- allegedly, the 'bible' of watchmakers. In this old book of wisdom, it was told that when an old handmade watch stops working, even if you remake all the parts and put them back together again in exactly the same way as before, the watch will not work again if the soul of the watch has died. I thought it was a touching and intriguing story to regard objects as having souls. Somehow my mind went to another story I read a few Christmases ago- it may have been in the Economist. It was about violin makers and how each violin had it's own character and it's own 'voice' because of so many tiny but significant variables in everything and every step that contribute to the birth of a hand-crafted violin. As winter makes it's presence felt, I can feel my own energetic return from without to within. As my outwith attention comes home, I reach for two books on my desk- 'A Hidden Wholeness'- The Journey Toward An Undivided Life by Parker J Palmer and 'Sounds, Feelings, Thoughts' by Wislawa Szymborska. Turning their soft covers, it's like coming home to old friends- and I know, in my heart, I know- it is TIME to give space to my soul.

Seeing the light

I have been holed up at the Radisson Blu Centrum for the past three and a half days co-facilitating a Leadership Development Intensive (LDI). As usual, it is an all-absorbing experiential with days starting at 7.30am to 7pm daily. As rich and rewarding as these experientials are, the intensity means that the day after I am usually tired and spent. Today was no exception. I made a conscious choice a few months ago to cut down on travelling. This has meant more time in Warsaw. People ask me 'how do you like Warsaw?'- well, I am learning to enjoy Warsaw though I am still a long way off having any kind of relationship with this place.

As I stepped out of the hotel at around 13:00 this afternoon, I sensed that the air was sharper than it had been for a while. My feet decided to take a left instead of a right and I found myself walking down Grzybowska towards Warszawa Centralny. I had a vague notion of going to Radio Cafe for lunch. As I walked, I was aware of having a 'sunday feeling'. I saw groups of tourists looking at maps, families in their 'sunday best', tour buses, quiet roads. As I approached a major intersection, I saw that the Ministry of Culture building to my right- closer than I expected. On impluse, I decided to venture down a side road. A cosy little cafe- I could just make out that they were offering cream of brocolli soup as their soup of the day...a restaurant named 'Patagonia' that served Italian food...signpost for a synagogue...a crumbling old building with large photos of jewish families posted on the outside. The derilict building threw me back to pre-war era- dark brown-black brickwork...smashed and boarded-up windows...in warsaw, the past is never far away. Outside a large church, an incongruently small statute of Pope John Paul II and at his feet, a small carpet of bright yellow and red flowers and wreaths...the thunderous scraping of skateboards...the delicate 'ting ting' from a passing bicycle...

my eyes wandered towards the sky and I saw the light- the diffused orange pink glow of winter-light, soft orange sorbet against a bright bronze dome and a soot black cross. This light is so evocative, so unique to this part of the world that when I see it, I always feel like I am in a movie- Dr Zhivago or Anna Karenina. The unmistakeable light of early winter in central eastern europe. How bizzare it is that I am here! How lucky it is that I am here! How surreal!