Source

I had a skype conversation with my partner a few days ago and he described a profound experience of co-creating a series of movements with someone who was not a dancer by training. The conversation left me full of feelings about so many aspects of relating and relationships. One of which is my sadness from being aware of how my own capabilities and capacities as a dancer has diminished over time. Time and physical deterioration is actuely felt by me as limits to expression. It is beyond words how frustrated I feel when I 'see' movement in my mind but my body cannot give it the fullest expression it demands. That evening, after the 'conversation', I danced and moved in my flat for about two hours and realised the loss of 'vocabulary' but not necessarily 'language'.

Today, he sent me an article by Rodin describing Balinese dancers and dance. This was my response to him:

I find this article thoroughly enjoyable, surfacing a feeling/ sort of insight
dimly in me since you described your experiencing with xxx...you often speak
of beginner's mind- this also applies to movement- which is my reading of
Rodin's writing...so it loops back to Arawana's work- The Art of Making a True
Move...so it loops back to the only picture I have- of me, in motion (I had no
idea the picture was taken)...and- that evening, after our skype text about
your communion, I moved and danced in my flat for about 2 hours...exploring
relationships between influences of past 'training' and flow and creativity and
form and 'true' or 'authentic' movement- their relationship with source- not
just source- but where is the source/ wellspring in my body and how the 'where'
relates to the 'what' in expression, charge/ discharge, energy, quality...

What I omitted was...and the realisation of loss- how much has been lost through time and premature pruning of green shoots of talent- way, way, back then...so now, I wonder, given what is and where I am now, what remains? What is possible?

EPP in London- 11.3.09

At last, after waiting for 2 years almost to the date, we got together with two others to continue the Embodied Presence Practice work in London. It was amazing to be able to move with a couple of other people. I felt it took some time for me to tune into the group- tuning inwards was easy but tuning into the wider emerging field was much more difficult. I found it difficult not to get into 'head mode' and, perhaps because of the long wait, to make the most of this precious time we have together by creating or doing 'stuff'. I felt that when we sat in a circle at the end and worked with gestures/ true moves there was a very different quality about the gestures and I was more able to move with what was truly emerging in the moment between us.

Brighton Fringe- Critical Incident '09

I laughed out loud when I saw these photos- great memories of last year! We hope to return to Brighton Fringe this year to do something...what???

Snowy 6th Feb 2009

It's been a while since I last blogged- it's not to say that I haven't thought about it but I haven't been moved enough to blog. So it's kinda ironic that my blog was set up in relation to movement and how the lack of significant movement has stopped me from blogging.

Since the buffet last May, I haven't organised any group moving event. I have been very wrapped up with entering my 3rd year of psychotherapy training, looking for and starting placements etc. So it was to my surprise that a few weeks ago, when I casually looked up the Presencing Institute to see what, if anything, might be happening, I saw the 'community' section of PI. What's more, I was overjoyed when I saw that I could join the community. I feel it's been a long time coming- like I have been waiting for a long time to connect with others who have been touched by Otto's Presencing workshop in one form or another. I am now really excited by the prospect of being able to meet up with others in London in a couple of weeks- I can't wait to see who they are and what connects us. Another unexpected surprise is that Arawana, who is the inspiration behind some of my longing for movement and moving in groups, will be in London in a couple of weeks. I am looking forward so much to finding out more about her Presencing Theatre and to see what that involves. Also related to it is the potential opportunity to meet the people who will be attending Arawana's Embodied Presence Practice workshop in London....who knows, moving in groups might happen yet!