Friday 6 April 2012

\Poetry_In-Motion/

Fluid, unending, tactile, flow http://vimeo.com/18838343

Wednesday 4 April 2012

Care

I took the liberty of giving myself a few days off to recuperate and regain a sense of balance. For a while- perhaps a few months or more, I have been feeling very tired and a general sense of 'not right'-ness. Since I was working abroad, I called my GP surgery in the UK ahead of time and booked myself an appointment a week ahead- it was the first available appointment date. Anyhow, I was having some anxieties around various parts of my body's not rightness, not least of which were fears around breast cancer, cervical cancer or ovarian cancer. I was reassured on the phone that it would be ok 'just turn up' to the appointment. Yesterday, I showed up- wanting to be checked over. I was reassured that my breasts were ok but when I proceeded to ask about my other concerns, the doctor stopped me and said 'sorry, there is no time today...we only have 10 minutes per patient. You will have to make another appointment for another day. Sorry- it's the way it is.' I tried to explain that I work abroad a lot and that I had come back to the UK specially for the appointment. No- the answer was an emphatic 'No, sorry- nothing I can do.' So I was sent packing. And now I have to wait another 3 weeks before I have to go back again and this time, making two separate appointments so that I can have my concerns listened to- not dealth with- but for someone to give me their time, attention and expertise.

As I reflected on this incident, the word 'care' came strongly to mind. Care-Full <-> Care-Less. Thinking a little more, I decided that it was not so much care-less- it's really a question of caring for what? Caring for whom? Caring in what way- how do we show that we care?

In my mind, I make a connection between the care-lessness with the atomisation of our existence. As we become ever more process-driven our humanity seems to have been subjugated to The Process or The System. It is a frightening thought that we no longer seem able to change The Process or The System- we merely operate within it. We seem to have lost our power to say 'No' or 'Stop'. It was stunning to me that a doctor was powerless to take more time with someone whose very needs they are there to address- patients define doctors. But no, doctors seem to be defined by waiting times and time slots. It is a sad state of affairs.

My attention turned to people I know, friends, family, loved ones, myself- who really cares? What do they care about? Who do they really give a shit about? How do they show they care? What really matters? Who really matters to us? What really matters to me? Who really matter to me? How do I show them that I care?