Pre-Completion, Pre-Death

It started with Howard Tonkin's first posting in Gestalt in Organisations group within LinkedIn which was titled 'Midlife and the Great Unknown'. It caught my eye. I opened up the posting and it took me to his writing on another website where there was a video of David Whyte. I have always loved his writing but never heard him speak. So it was really special to see him and especially to hear him. He recited a much-loved poem of mine 'Love After Love'. The way he recited the poem was fabulous. Conversational and casual, the poem takes on a different resonance. I responded to Howard's posting and said that I made a connection between his work and Stephen Jenkinson- the 'Grief Walker'. It so happened that Howard met Stephen recently and I must have met Stephen the week after. While my past postings were connected to the themes of passings and death, in the past few days, I have noticed my attention being drawn to pre-completion or pre-death. In the past, I noticed that I paid attention to beginnings and I registered endings but until my mother's death, I had not felt endings as much as I am able to feel them now. So it is interesting to me that I am almost 'working up the food chain' to notice the feelings of pre-completion. Recently, I have been sensing a sort of shifting- of a sure but steady feeling of an ending presencing itself. I don't yet know what it is. Perhaps it is my work/ time in Poland. Perhaps it's something else. Suffice to say that I feel the presencing and arrival of some kind of ending approaching. It is unsettling. I feel neither the need to run away nor am I particularly motivated to change 'it' in any way. In Gestalt, there is often a recognition of the 'creative void' and the impression I have is that usually it is spoken about as a prelude to the beginning of a gestalt. What I am experiencing now is a something like a no-thing void during the latter phase of a cycle of experience. Since this is new to me, it seems important to acknowledge it's presence. As I write this down, I am aware of wanting to make use of this time to make sense of and figure out what is ending and just following my process and being with this new feeling. The sun has just appeared for the first time today.