Sunday 27 November 2011

Going backwards

For so long I have held the believe that it's not possible to 'go backwards'. Lately, I have been thinking that this idea is not entirely 'true'. Whilst I do believe that we all move on, I am starting to think that it is possible to 'go back'. The reason why I say this is because I think when I 'move forward' in life, it is possible to reflect and take stock of what really matters to me and what it is that gives me joy, happiness and a sense of well-being. I believe the choice to return to that place is possible. I think it is because what really matters to me is the environment in which I feel 'at home' and 'at peace'. It's been very obvious to me for a long time now that my 'place' is in the open expanse of the countryside, being in nature. It is the only place where I have ever felt peaceful and fully accepted. A place where everything falls into place and where my life has a balanced perspective. The year I spent in the countryside was a period of my life where I was most unsettled and the most settled at the same time. At my most desparate, the countryside provided me with an unconditional holding, acceptance and healing in a way I never could have imagined. It was also a place where I came to many realisations about the nature of nature. It is a place where I intend to return- to quote John Scherer, a place where I will be 'coming home to myself'.